It’s that time of year again. Hearts and roses are on every street corner, you can’t get a space at a restaurant, and everywhere you turn there are couples more in love than ever, or at least pretending they are. That’s right, it’s the dreaded Valentine’s Day, brought to us directly from Clinton Cards. I have always hated Valentine’s Day. At first I thought it was always because I was single, but now I’m in a long term relationship I just hate it more. Now I’m begging people to come to their senses, and want to show you that it is okay to hate Valentine’s Day.
- When else in the year would anyone pay £60 plus for 12 flowers, just because they’re red? And you can’t just get flowers, then there’s the chocolates, wine and ridiculous venue to add to it. And what do the men get out of it…. ? Grief that Julie at work got bigger flowers, and taken to a nicer restaurant.
- When you get to the restaurant where to intend to have a deep and meaningful, romantic conversation with the one you ‘love’, you have to shout above the crowds of other couples doing exactly that. Whilst eating mass produced food you don’t really want, with a date who is either clock watching for bedroom time, or comparing how in love she is with the woman next to her.
- If you actually wanted to go on a date with this person, then surely you would do it when you’re not being told you have to. And for those couples who normally venture out on dates, a normal weekend’s activity suddenly becomes a competition with the rest of the world.
- All this display of puppy-dog-eyed coupledom, only heightens the sneaking suspicion that everyone else in the world is much happier than you, and having much more sex than you.
- The need to look good in sexy underwear, less than two months after Christmas is just a joke.
- There is nothing more awkward than spending time and money buying that perfect gift, and then having to act like its ok when you only get a card.
- In new relationships, just buying a card speaks volumes about where you’re at, and how you could be more than just good friends.
- It’s not even a real holiday!
- No one can moan about it. If you’re single you look like a bitter spinster, and if you’re in a relationship people automatically assume you must be ‘going through a rough patch’.
If Valentine’s is your thing then enjoy it, but I think it’s fair to say that love’s not a competition but I’m winning, pretty much sums up this time of year.