Online Dating: Digital Companionship or Time to shut down?

We all know those adverts online and on television. The cute couple being playful and looking lovingly in to each other’s eyes, and then bam! The message is beamed to all the singletons saying join this wonderful dating site and find everlasting love. The fairytale of finding our one true love is still heavily embraced in society. This dream is living strong in the world of online dating.

As a single twenty something woman in London I have found meeting decent gentleman rather difficult. Yes I have had the pep talk from friends who are happily coupled up, in love and married with children about how best to go about meeting a decent man for myself. Going out a lot more is the top suggestion but is harder to do when most of my friends are not single and free to go out often. Taking up a hobby, meeting someone at work or university has not thrown me in to the great vision known as my romantic destiny.

A new chapter to the dating scene has opened up online. This could be the answer for many single people out there who have not for various reasons met the right person for them. As much as we hear of success stories from dating sites via adverts, I personally have come across more people who complain about them. Many sites present a notion that love is only a few clicks away. Can this be true? I wonder what percentage of subscribers report finding their true love? I have never come across a successful couple who met online.

This hype is being forced on single people’s dating logic to play on our human instincts for companionship. Curiosity gets us to have a look at a dating site and maybe get the courage to create a profile that in hope dazzles the perfect partner for us. Our bank accounts also get involved in the process rather intensively with a lot of the top dating sites being expensive too; with one particular site offering a love guarantee or your money back. This seems far too good to be true, unfortunately it turns out that it is for most of us.

Dating sites get us socialising through instant messaging, the odd wink from time to time and exchanging emails with people from all different walks of life. These sites give us the chance to meet people we may not meet in everyday life. Then you get people who make the process a bit tedious at times due to them not reading your profile or remembering what you told them in a conversation. There are people who present a false sense of themselves by adding buzz words such as, honest and open-minded, but then become very judgmental as soon as someone open-minded approaches them. Photographs are often the only factor judged upon by some users. It detracts from all the effort someone has made to write about themselves to give a brief taster of their personality. I often think what is the point in making an effort online? There is a positive side to it that makes the effort worth it, with interesting chats online with nice people who can exchange advice.

From the perspective of a young woman, the quality of the dates from these sites seem different, there is a mechanical nature to them, like people are picked from a production line. The process lacks understanding of people’s feelings. This in turn has led to people not fully understanding what each other wants’ out of a date, leading to unsuccessful dates. It then begins again you go back to messaging another potential date online.

As almost everything can be made a commodity these days, love has fallen head over heels to the fiscal hand of big business. The free dating site still exists but we assume a pay site will have more people who are serious about finding a relationship.

From gathering my own and other people’s experience of dating sites, there are lots of people who do not know what they want. Maybe these people get caught up in the advertising of love and companionship. It could also be a popular twenty first century quick fix, when in reality it often takes time and effort to find that right person. The key to the whole online dating experience is to be light hearted about it. Fill in your profile, except that you will come across daft messages and overall enjoy it. Keep seeking that special companionship and do not shut down. We should take pleasure from our single status, it can be lots of fun, and so try to enjoy the dating scene be it online or offline.

One Response

  1. Jonelle Bielat
    30 June, 2010