Game Show Garbage: Joseph

The Price is Right: 2008

It’s been an occurance on The Price Is Right over the past 5 years that some contestants find it funny to bid $420 or something 69 on an item, but then after they get it out of the way, they play it straight.  Sometimes, I’ve seen people get lucky with a $420 bid.  But its’ a completely different thing to hammer it completely into the ground, and make yourself look like a total jackass who’s just there in contestants row to get yourself over to your drunken frat buddies back at whatever college they attend.  None whatsoever have aggitated me and others to the point of no return like Joseph.

Joseph epitomizes what is wrong with Price Is Right contestants today.  My firm belief is that he faked having all of this energy and grandeur in the line to Stan Blitz or whomever was picking contestants that day, so that he could get picked to be on the show.  Sure enough, all that faking it paid off in spades, as he was the first person to be called down that day.

 

His parents will celebrate similarly when he moves out of their basement

You could tell he was really excited, but when he got there he settled down, knowing it was time to unleash his master plan.  What was the plan, you ask?  Well, simply put, it was to get his 15 minutes of fame, or in this case 15 seconds of shame.

 

[Insert obligatory ‘Does she come with the prize?’ gag]

The First item up for bids was a treadmill.  Usually the first bid sets the pace for the day, and the first bid by Joseph….

 

No jokes here, I just want to express what a douche I think this guy is already

$420.  Suddenly, every stoner in the world starts to giggle a little bit.  That’s an easy joke to make on Price is Right.  Now, that’s the only 420 that he’ll make, thankfully.  The PIR staff probably didn’t want a repeat of what Evan Goding did back in 2006, when he got called on down and kept on bidding $420.

 

When did banjo cases become so phallic?

So now we get to the second IUFB and its a banjo.  An interesting item, so we turn to Joseph and gives us…

 

STOP. SMILING. LIKE. A. MORON.

$777.  A clever bid, but that all proves to be a ruse to let the Price staff drop their guard once we get to the next IUFB…

 

Ohhhh boy, there's a Jim Davidson level sexist joke in this picture somewhere

A Free-Standing Range.  So, what does our intrepid idiot bid….

 

I know it won't happen, but I'm seriously wishing for a grand piano to land on him at this stage

$1869.  Yes, we get it.  Supposed to be the euphemism of an 18 year old performing a sexual act.  I guess in his pea brain it was stupid, but funny.  But alas, it’s not the end because everybody went over.  And what does he have for an encore bid?

 

You know who I dislike more than Joseph? The guy behind him in the dark t-shirt roaring with laughter. Seriously man, take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror

$769.  Now it’s becoming intolerable.  The Stoner Bid + 2 euphemisms for a sexual act = someone just desperate for attention.  Now we get to the next IUFB….

 

Probably the wrong thing to focus on, but there is no way that Kitchen worktop is high enough to comfortably prepare meals on. Just saying...

A Kitchen Island.  Now, We all know Joseph is planning on bidding $1869 again….

 

My expression is similar to that of the female contestant. I can only hope she kicked them both under the desk.

But Samuel, the new player, beat him to the punch.  I think he said it before Joseph did, because of his look afterwards.  So, Joseph had to come up with another plan.  And what was his plan…

 

Cue Minor Overeaction: THIS MAN IS EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD!!!

$2,000,000.  Quite possibly what is the single worst bid in the show’s history.  So, it’s pretty much a given that he only is on the show just so he can get his 15 minutes of shame, ridicule and be featured in a Youtube video.  Mission succeeded, Jackass.  But he’s not done, sadly.

 

Surely desire for ownership will override his imbecilic tendencies?

We get to Item #5 in a beautiful man’s watch.  The Price staff is hoping that he’s done, but….

 

Now only he and douchebag behind him are smiling. You ran a joke SO far into the ground you killed the enthusiasm of a GAME SHOW AUDIENCE! Consider that on one of the many nights you will doubtless spend alone and friendless.

One bid of $969, in the most confused voice possible later, and the Price staff had enough.  During break they probably gave him a huge tongue lashing about his bids.  They told him to knock it the hell off.  So, we’re down to the last one-bid and mercifully, it’s almost over.

 

This could have been used to cave in his skull....just saying...

The final item is this gem globe, a lovely item, and now we get nasty Joseph giving his final bid…

And STILL he laughs. I do hope the guy behind wasn't too far away from his handlers.

$1868.  This definitely had to have been one last jab at the staff.    Thankfully, before he got anymore TV time, he didn’t get the prize.  So, he was there the entire show and completely pissed off the entire staff while he was there.  I don’t think he even got one last shot when they did the consolation prize plugs.  I doubt he even got any consolation prizes.  If he didn’t, then that’s justice in itself.  This guy really irritated me, and pretty much everybody who watched that day because he just wanted to get his 15 minutes of fame, notoriety among other things.  He thought this episode would be reran someday, but nope.  Afterwards, according to some insiders, the producers marked this episode “NOT FOR RERUNS”.

Bottom line, he is the WORST price is right contestant there ever was.  Even if you get someone who doesn’t know any of the games, they will never reach the level of moronic, insipid, jackassiveness that this guy brought to the table.  He just wanted to get his 15 minutes of fame, and he got it.  So, mission accomplished.  Sadly, the contestants haven’t gotten much better.  Sure there are some good contestants, but they’re mainly cancelled out by loons like him.  Let’s just hope that there are no more like him.  Doing one stupid bid is fine, but doing it on and on makes you look more like an ass than anything else.  But, I’m not holding my breath.  They’ll be another one like him soon.  But he’s definitely the worst.

Editor’s note: I was going to put the High Roller ‘Monkey Facepalm’ picture in this to express my dismay, but I got so angry (as displayed my captions) by the end of the induction I decided it would be giving Joseph too much credit.

Additionally I want to apologise both to yourselves the readers and to Rob Seidelman for the long delay between Game Show Garbage posts which has been entirely my fault. They will now be back fortnightly on MultiMediaMouth. Chris Nelson

Game Show Garbage can also be found at Robert Seidelman’s own site here

You can contact him at gsg@multimediamouth.com